SCENES
by sage360
Summary: Shalimar finally gives her perspective on the impending relationship with Brennen. Please read and Review! Complete!
1. Cocktails

SCENES  
  
Disclaimer: M-X, don't own them. Enjoy!  
  
Set slightly before LEST HE BCOME, Shalimar finally gives her perspective on the 'impending' relationship with Brennen.  
  
COCKTAILS  
  
I only come to clubs to dance, and even tonight, that seems impossible. The men are freakin' animals (like I have a problem with that!) and I just can't seem to find someone who'd move without try to 'move' all over me. But that's the scene. All I want is to move, and lose it under the sauce of the music, but for now my drink is enough.  
  
"I've never been one for alcohol." Emma replied. She sits there eyeing the drink suspiciously. I 'don't think I've ever seen her hair pulled back like that, but it looks nice and shows of the angles of her face. We've been in this one spot for hours, taking a little mini-vacation from sanctuary and the guys. I know if they were here, Jesse would be dancing in the middle of four women, and Brennen would be at the bar smiling away indecent proposals. For some reason, that does upset me. "Shal,"  
  
"Uhm, yeah?" I realize I'd never answered Emma about her drink. She sits, watching me with intent blue eyes. Suddenly, part of me wants to crawl under the table, just to avoid her stare. Make note to self: I have to spend more time with friends who don't leave me emotionally naked.  
  
"Spill it. " she grins. The youngin is starting to work my nerves, tonight. "Is it a mission? Something with Adam or Jesse?"  
  
I eye my glass defeated, she just walking in the tracks here. The psionic knows all to well what it is. "Nope, Em."  
  
Her eyes dance at that, and the tongue slides over her lips too easily. I think Emma B is trying to come back from when she got split a year ago. I almost want to cove r my ears. "Brennen?'  
  
"You could leave it alone." I smirk.  
  
"It's always Brennen, Ms. Fox. What happened now?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
She looks at me momentarily before continuing. "It's something. You look pretty serious."  
  
I feel serious. For some reason, my thoughts have just revolved around him lately. It's been nearly three years since he and Emma joined the team and I just felt this sudden need to remember. "I was just thinking about our friendship."  
  
"How that word hasn't fit in a while?"  
  
"I don't know. I think it's that I just don't know what to think of him."  
  
"Shalimar." Emma breaks in. "You and Brennen have been playing this game of tag since you met. Either you're it or you're not. And more often than not, another woman has been 'it' for him."  
  
"Like that needs repeating."  
  
"The feral in you knows what it wants, but the human knows better. You're just battling emotionally. He is a good guy with you, and probably would be better off with you. But Brennen has to grow up first- for himself." She looks at me again, this time with question. "Why don't you talk?"  
  
"To HIM?"  
  
"No, to me. Tell me what you really think about Brennen."  
  
I look at her for the moment, trying to see what the purpose would be. Maybe, it would feel good to finally speak on the one man, who'd been so blatant in my life these past few years. "Not here. " I reply standing up. "Let's drive." 


	2. At First Sight

SCENES  
  
DISCLAIMER: M-X, don't own them. Enjoy!  
  
Spoilers: Season 1: Shock of the New and I Scream the Body Electric  
  
"When we first met," Shalimar started, navigating the SUV around downtown. "I mean really first met, it wasn't at the skyline where Genomax took him. I could barely see him then." Her lips pressed in thought at memory of the handsome figure they'd dragged off. "No. It was when we broke into Genomax to get him. He had just kicked the shit out of the guard and was about to finish off Thorne."  
  
"Sounds fun." Emma smirked.  
  
"It was."  
  
The feral had just turned the corner, and could smell the tension of a fight. Her eyes danced at the thought of action around the bend. What she got was a tall striking figure with his back to her. The electricity in his hand, danced feverishly, and reflected pale off of his long leather coat. 'That's him' she thought. And quite a him he had to be. Already, this guy Thorne was running the other way, fearing the power present from a now defunct sub-dermal governor. It was then that 'he' looked back, relaxing slightly as the feral stepped towards him.  
  
His eyes were what she saw first. He had chocolate orbs that penetrated right through her skin, and a smile that spread too sexily.  
  
"What a smile, Emma." She grinned. "And he was just so-"  
  
"Alluring. Yeah, I know."  
  
Shalimar, watched as the lights of passing buildings flashed by. They were headed nowhere in particular, just driving. But she had needed to feel the pull of the road beneath them. "We didn't say much, then. But at the ring ceremony, I couldn't help but watch him. At first, I thought it was because he was so tall. But, there was this 'pull' he has."  
  
Emma grinned at her friend, loving how she suddenly seemed like a schoolgirl. "Thank God, you stopped long enough to give me my ring."  
  
"I know, right? But Brennen just seemed 'intense' right then."  
  
"And still does?"  
  
"And still does."  
  
"Y'know, Shalimar, this sounds like you had it bad for him from the start."  
  
"NO," she replied. "Otherwise, I wouldn't have fallen for Richard." The woman dimmed slightly at remembering her lost lover. "It happened after that, and it happened so slowly, I didn't realize it till I'd fallen."  
  
Emma eyes blazed right then, dancing at her best friend. "Fallen?"  
  
"Yeah, Em." Her voice became shaky as small fists gripped the wheel. "I love Brennen, but I'll never tell him." 


	3. Walls So Thin

SCENES  
  
Disclaimer: M-X, Don't own the. Enjoy!  
  
WALLS SO THIN  
  
"WHY wouldn't you tell him that?" Emma nearly shrieked.  
  
"Because the Brennen you and I know is not one ready for a relationship."  
  
"TRUE!" she replied, running fingers through her red hair "But knowing something like this could change things. He's already so overprotective of you, and you both flirt so hard!"  
  
"I know." The feral whispered. "And how many other women does he 'flirt' so easily with? No, Emma. He won't know." The blonde watched the endless strip of highway, lost in her thoughts. "My own sexual tension is enough to deal with."  
  
And what a tension it was. The feral side knew what it wanted. Brennen was young, strong and dominant in their realm of living known as Sanctuary. And he was unsettling to every one of Shalimar's senses, be it animal or human. Time after time, she'd round the corner or come up the stairs to see a half naked elemental handling his own business. Why this man had to 'literally' be so comfortable in his own skin, she'd never know. But it did make her smile. And he was always smiling at her. Hanging out and buzzing by during the day was nothing, however. It was the night that brought struggles.  
  
One never-ending nail that loved to hammer into her nerves was the fact that their rooms were right next to each other. And her damned senses could pick up on him even through the reinforced rock of Sanctuary. At night, she'd shower, dress and curl up for sleep. But her eyes would flip open. Her nose could smell him- even at such a distance. And the twisting began. The woman lay wide-awake in the mass of sheets, just picturing the elemental next door. Was he reading, or working out (he loved to do push ups in his own room sometimes.) or was he lying there, twisting the same way over her? It was enough to make the woman have to pull off her P.J.'s and sleep on top of the covers. Of course the rock could never get cool enough then.  
  
Thus, began her nights of prowling. Being up was so natural to her nocturnal feral. It was easy to roam her domain till morning. But, soon, the pull was there again, only this time it called her into his room. Shalimar had never felt more like a stalker in her life, but this urge to just see him was just there. And it grew till she finally acted.  
  
Late one night, the small blonde built up enough nerve to push open the door to Brennen's room. Surprisingly, it was clean and minimal in its consumption. Her eyes glowed feral in the dark of the doom, and her nose twitched taking in his smell. She stepped softly, forwarding past the bare carpet to his bed. There, the stretched out elemental lay drowning in the mess of sheets. He was comical, and stayed with either a pillow over his head or the face of a two-year-old. His limbs would stretch across the mattress, glowing in heat against the cool white. How the feral managed not to touch him, she couldn't understand. His chest rolled it a steady breath, daring her fingernails to brush its dark lines. Even his legs, would race from beneath the sheets, leaving a concoction of tan flesh and muscle naked to her eyes. The curves would move, entangling with each other in the formation of a calf, then knee and a powerfully thick thigh. The sheets then interrupted, creating a shadow over the continuing ride of his body, and making the feral nervous with danger. Her fingers itched to pull the sheets from him, and let her eyes feast. But she knew better. As drowned out as Brennen was, the past life of danger had left him a light sleeper. And even with her abilities, the woman didn't dare accept the confrontation of him waking up. Too much could happen.  
  
"Shalimar, I think you need to look at this another way." The redhead began. "You two have been doing this chase for so long, you're bound to be nothing but bundles of sexual energy. Letting things surface could erase that for you both. It may even improve your friendship."  
  
"Friendship." She repeated softly. Even in her blatant want of his physicality, Brennen was undoubtedly a wonderful friend to her. They had managed to talk about anything, and even make fun of each other from time to time. It made the attraction so much stronger -that much stronger. "What? Friends before lovers?"  
  
"Partially." The read-head continued. "It just may be all you need to open doors for yourselves. Everything starts with words. They're always the first action. Besides, your issues are not really physical- they're psychological."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"After knowing him for so long, common sense tells you not to pursue Brennen. He's a playboy, maybe not like he was back then, but it's still there. And you are afraid of getting hurt." The red head clasped her fingers into a lock before they fell in her lap. "You won't tell him you love him, because you're afraid to trust him. You don't think he can be faithful." 


	4. The Issue Is

SCENES  
  
DISCLAIMER: M-X, DON'T OWN THEM. ENJOY!  
  
THE ISSUE IS  
  
Thanks to everyone reading my work! I've enjoyed ALL the reviews ad E- MAILS, and to Lana Lang - I wish I could rent out Brennen also- just for a day^-^  
  
"Shalimar, how many women have you seen him go through in the time that you've known him?" Emma asked, shifting underneath her seatbelt. "As beautiful as he may be, the habits can get pretty ugly sometimes."  
  
"I know, and THAT's why I'm not saying anything." The feral focused on the road gripping the wheel in thought. Why did she have to want him so? ALL of her, animal and human, had intentions for the 6'3", two- hundred- plus pound elemental. If she could figure it out. maybe just find away to deal with the physical desire, maybe then the mental would subside. Like hell it would!  
  
"Shal, what's probably the most serious moment where you nearly lost it around Brennen? And was it possible that he could pick up on your feelings?"  
  
The blonde snatched her head towards Emma sharply. "OH YEAH!"  
  
'That Time' had come after a long mission with Jesse. The feral found it thankfully refreshing to be away from Brennen. But whenever his voice came over the COMM link all rich and thick it its deep charm, her knees trembled. No man had ever made her feel like that- until now.  
  
She remembered getting off the Helix tired in dire need of a shower. The woman could have run to her room right then, but found a strange need to track through the dojo. There in the center, he moved fighting some simulated agents and totally unaware of her. The man only seemed to wear sweat (Even though the large workout pants and white tank were a nice touch.) Shalimar just wanted to wait and watch the sleek executions. He's so large to be so graceful. And so strong to not be feral, she thought. The black hair was slicked back in its drenched state almost curling on the ends. Shalimar had to shake herself just to get moving, and somehow, she managed to get back to her room. In the confines of her space, she tore out of the leather and into a much-needed shower, drowning her thoughts in a bottle of Emma's aromatherapy body wash. It was there that she became calm, and managed to gain control of some side of he emotions. I could be in heat, she thought. But that wasn't possible. If she were then poor her feral side would undoubtedly mark Brennen. The woman washed until her body had gotten enough of the water. Steam barreled around her thickly as the shower opened. Her need for cool air was dominating the one for a towel, causing her to exit into her room. Boy, did she have the timing!  
  
"HE SAW YOU NAKED?!" Emma nearly gasped.  
  
"It WAS an accident." The feral started. "I just picked the wrong time to not wear a towel."  
  
"Well, he left out right?"  
  
The feral smirked back towards the road. "Come on, Em. We are talking about Brennen."  
  
In fact, Brennen was just as frozen as her. He'd come around the corner to say hello, and entered when finding the door unlocked.  
  
"Shal-WHOA!" he snapped as the woman stopped in mid walk. The towel, in her hand dragged limply along the floor till then. Her eyes widened with disbelief. The man found it in him to turn his back, but that was nowhere near the end of the moment. "Shal, I'm so sorry, but the door was-"  
  
"It's okay." She smirked still naked. The woman thought it comical to see him nervous and thus made no attempt to move. He was still in his workout clothes and sweaty at that. The feral smiled to herself, knowing all the trouble she could start. "It was an accident right?"  
  
In that signature Brennen fashion, he lied. "Well, if you really-"  
  
"Brennen!"  
  
"Okay, it was an accident. A nice one but an accident, non the less."  
  
"So," She smirked, enjoying the time to view his nicely constructed backside. "You tried to see me naked?"  
  
"Am I straight?" He chuckled. She made sure to hit him in the head with a pillow. "Okay! Okay! I didn't try to."  
  
"What did you want, Brennen?" she grinned, sitting on the bed.  
  
"You ask me that now?"  
  
"Yeah, man-whore, what do you want?"  
  
At that, he turned back around, only to freeze up again at the sight of her still naked. The man returned to his former pose chuckling. "Are you trying to kill me Shal?"  
  
"Yep, It'll teach you not to stare."  
  
He crossed his arms, causing the broad shoulder and back muscles to strain under his skin. Her fingernails were begging for him. "I wouldn't stare is a certain blonde would put on some clothes."  
  
"It's alright." She replied tucking the towel around her slender form. "Staring is all you'll ever do with me, anyway."  
  
"Don't remind me." he smirked. "Seriously, I just came to say hay, see how your mission went."  
  
She walked over to him, contently studying the curves of his spine and shoulders. "You couldn't ask Jesse."  
  
"Shal, if I just saw Jess the way I saw you, I'd be running right now." The feral moved in front of him, purposely standing in his line of sight. Brennen eyed her almost hungrily. Her tongue so wanted to tease him, with words and actions, but she knew better. He was easily stronger than her-feral or not. That made him all the more exciting.  
  
"So, welcome me back." she grinned.  
  
"The man wrapped sweaty arms around her, pulling the woman into a much wanted hug. "Welcome back." he whispered. Shalimar would have died to stay right there for just a few more moments, but that would have sparked his curiosity. Thus she pulled away.  
  
"Now get out." she grinned. "So I can put on some clothes."  
  
"What? I can't watch that?" he smiled, feeling small hands push him towards the door,  
  
"Nope. You already got your show."  
  
Emma roared with laughter as her friend drove on.  
  
"You know, I could you out. " Shalimar smirked.  
  
"Okay, Okay. I'll stop."  
  
"But you know what it is? That didn't have to be me he saw naked. It could have been any woman he'd been with or wanted to be with. And I didn't want to be on the list."  
  
Emma relaxed back into her concern. "You want to end the list."  
  
"Destroy the list." she added. "But with Brennen, he'll never stop browsing or flirting. That means sooner or alter another 'face' will end up in his bed, replacing the one before. Emma, I don't want to be a 'one time use' thing."  
  
"I understand. But still, you have to wonder if you two did get together, would it really make a difference in his life. And I for one, tend to think it would." The redhead looked back towards the road with purpose. "You just may be what he needs to change."  
  
"Maybe," the blonde exhaled. "I just don't want to be the one he runs all over. Couldn't take it."  
  
"Which is why I said you don't trust him."  
  
"Emma, don't you think that's a stretch?"  
  
"I'll put it this way, you trust him as a friend and a teammate. The man would risk his life for you, but when it comes to your heart, he can't get past the front gate."  
  
The woman again exhaled at her teammate's words. "You got it, Em."  
  
"So what will you do?"  
  
"Same as before, not tell him."  
  
"I'm sorry, Shalimar." the woman replied sitting up. "That's not an option." 


	5. Reality Check

SCENES  
  
DISCLAIMER: M-X, Don't own them. Enjoy!  
  
THANKS TO ALL WHO ARE REVIEWING AND EMAILING! I LOVE THE ATTENTION. IT SEEMS THE JUNKIES ARE READY FOR ANOTHER INSTALMENT, SO BUCKLE UP!  
  
REALITY CHECK  
  
"Em-ma," Shalimar said, not believing the psionic had told her no to something. "Why is it not an option?"  
  
"Because, it's the start of the CWS syndrome." The red-head watched the confused feral as she pulled into a parking lot. The blonde turned to her.  
  
"English please."  
  
"Could've, would've, should've. Everything that you don't do now, you'll wish you did in the future. Then it'll turn to full on regret. Keeping this bottled in will only hurt you, and quite possibly Brennen."  
  
Shalimar looked out the window in contemplation. The waves rushed in and out of the coast, teasing its much-wanted lover. Much-wanted the feral thought, pushing open the car door. The night was surprisingly warm against her skin. Emma followed, hopping on the hood of the automobile alongside her friend. She could see where the blonde's thoughts were and felt sorry for the woman being so torn. She's just trying to protect herself, the woman thought. What smart woman wouldn't? The battle between head and heart could be as confusing as it was destructive. Only now, that battle included a third party unyielding on its animalistic wants. Shalimar could neither move nor stand still in her feelings. And as all women knew, that meant one thing. She was stuck in an unending fall. Emma exhaled cool air against the night. All we do is keep falling.  
  
"Emma, you knew Brennen before me. So, you know why I won't say yes to that,,,option. As good of a person as he is, he's still not a person ready to commit. And I don't want anything open." The woman toyed with her fingers for a moment, "And he's nothing but open!"  
  
"Yeah," The red-head interjected. "A more than likely, he's open on you. I mean think about it; the real issue could that you send HIM mixed signals." The woman looked back at Emma with serious denial. "And you know you do."  
  
Shalimar could've cracked her upside the head at that. She slumped forward, resting elbow to knee while hands covered her face. She didn't have to look to see the woman staring at her all-knowingly. Even as the feral sat back, Emma had that 'I know I'm right' smirk, typical of her royal psionic highness. The blonde shook her head. "Okay. Okay! I do 'tease' Brennen sometimes."  
  
"Tease?" Emma arched a perfect brow in disbelief.  
  
"Okay, I 'taunt' him!"  
  
"Shalimar! You torture the man with your yes/no's. Either you're about to kiss him, or you're pushing him away. And let's not forget how you treat him when he is with someone else. Remember Miranda?"  
  
"Don't remind me. That ditz was in the bubble so long, her legs sprung open for anyone new. She knew she was going to fuck Brennen before he got in her house!"  
  
Emma again raised an eyebrow. "Jealousy?"  
  
"Exhaustion." The feral replied. "I mean it takes so much nerve to say something. ANYTHING, and when-"  
  
"When you finally get up to it, something or someone knocks you down."  
  
"Yes, Emma! And I'm tired of playing this game! I'm tired of it being in the back of my mind that if he's not in Sanctuary, some 'woman' has him knocked out in her bed! I don't deserve that shit!"  
  
"No, you don't." The red-head replied. "And now you're talking about Lorna."  
  
Shalimar only made a face.  
  
"But, Shalimar, you were still mourning Richard when that happened. Were you developing feelings for Brennen that early?"  
  
"I just didn't see it at the time." She started. "I was caught up in Richard."  
  
"What happened to put you in this neutral position?"  
  
Shalimar leaned her chin on the loose construction of forearms. "All of it."  
  
In actuality, Lorna never bothered her as much as Miranda, neither did any of the blasts from the pasts between them. It was the faceless ones that scratched her nerves. The feral still had yet to understand how a man could go into hump mode over practically anything strutting by. It had bothered her to the point that she avoided going to the club or partying with Brennen all together. While her ego stood solid, her heart would cave at him dancing with some half naked piece of fluff. And what didn't cave in would reform just to shatter when he disappeared with her (or sometimes several of them). If that wasn't enough, her ears continuously caught the 'guy talks' between him and Jesse over what did go on. Sometimes, calling Sparky a man-whore was a term of endearment.  
  
"There was one night when we were at some club out of town. It was the four of us and we were out searching for some new mutants being forced into an illegal fighting circuit."  
  
"I think I remember," Emma nodded. "We were there for like a week."  
  
"Yeah. Anyway, that night, Brennen somehow talked me into dancing with him. And,,,"  
  
"And, you got caught up."  
  
"Yeah." The feral whispered. "This slow song seemed to go on forever, and I knew we were the only two on the floor. I know there was a crowd, but the floor felt empty. And the heat was soft, not so intense or raw. It was just inviting. I could have stayed in his arms all night." In his arms, lost in his eyes or entangled in his lips. Even though they only danced, her mind was providing imagery that made the woman keep her head lowered. The feral could have laughed at herself for being so shy, but some how the elemental did make her feel like a schoolgirl. "Somehow, I managed to believe he felt it too. We held each other so close, Emma. And I could feel his heart racing, right against mine."  
  
"You kissed?"  
  
"No." she spat. "And now, I'm almost glad we didn't."  
  
Emma shifted in her position, pulling her coat against the incoming wind. "Why, Shal?"  
  
"Because as soon as the song was over, I go to get a drink and he,,,"  
  
"He what?"  
  
Shalimar rubbed her temple against an ache truly in her heart. "He pulled some Brennen shit."  
  
That moment had her sipping the amaretto sour cautiously as her heart calmed. She returned to the spot where they danced to see him gone. The woman gave into her feral instincts, and followed the trail of his scent through the sweaty crowd. It carried her up the stairs and onto the second floor, through another crowd. This area was darker and secluded from the mass hysteria of the dance floors. She sat her drink on the table, eyeing the darkness intently. There in a shadowy corner she saw him, lost in one of his signature activities.  
  
"He had her up against the wall." She continued, feeling Emma's hand on her shoulder. "They were so rough with each other, and he didn't seem to know I was watching. If I had my drink, the glass would have dropped."  
  
"Why do I think part of you wanted to throw it at him?"  
  
"Another good reason it wasn't in hand." Shalimar smirked. The image of some faceless female with her legs around his waist burned on the curve of her mind. "I left after that."  
  
Emma stroked the golden hair gently, seeing the heartbreak on her friend's face. She had never known Shalimar to be so weak in her feelings. Now, they consumed her.  
  
"And the late night prowling stopped then?"  
  
"Yeah, this part of me didn't want to look at him for so long. That's when I started 'prowling' outside of Sanctuary. Said I was mutating to cover it up."  
  
"Shal, I'm sorry."  
  
"Then he starts getting all concerned and following me out at night. And I couldn't stand him for it. Still, part of me was glad he was there."  
  
Emma sat back, her mind working under the falling red hair. She bit her lip in concentration, and eyed the feral for several moments. "Y'know, Shalimar. I think we've been looking at this all wrong."  
  
The feral looked out at the waves, lost in their actions. "How so?"  
  
"Maybe it's not you with the issue. Maybe Brennen has feelings and doesn't think he can approach you. It would make sense. He thins he's not able to be with you, so he acts out with whom ever. The way you turn him on and of would be enough to make him give up. So he'd be out there with them while wanting you."  
  
"That's bullshit, Emma." The woman snapped. "I honestly love Brennen, but he's a shit head. Maybe our actions have messed up how we perceive each other, but that's not an open door to go out and sleep with just anyone! He gives him self away like it's nothing!"  
  
"Most men do!"  
  
"Yeah, well, I don't want most men! And I'll tell you something else; I'm tired of trying to say something to him about how I feel! If anyone is going to say ANYTHING, he's going to be the on to come to me."  
  
"And you still don't know if you'd say yes." Emma smirked.  
  
"I would say no till it killed him," the woman finally broke as tears spilled down her cheeks. "Just the way this has killed me."  
  
Emma hugged her teammate till the sobs stopped. She felt her own heartbreak at Shalimar's defeat. "Somehow, honey. I think it is." 


	6. Backdoors and Options

SCENES  
  
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The previous chapter relayed back to Season one "Deadly Desire" and season two "Crossroads of the Soul". KEEP REVIEWING AND SEND EMAILS!  
  
BACKDOORS AND OPTIONS  
  
"How is that?" Shalimar asked wiping her eyes.  
  
"The strange thing between men and women is that they see the same issue the same way, their perspectives just collide due to gender. Brennen has seen you with your ex's as well. Even some of the men you flirt with, and he hasn't looked too pleased."  
  
"And, so what?"  
  
Emma pulled back from the woman. "Stop acting like you don't care, Shalimar. If anything, Brennen is just as jealous as you are. Men get away with being loose more so than women."  
  
"Not with me."  
  
"Me either." The redhead grinned. "But I promise you, he hasn't been happy over seeing you with anyone else. This 'tease' that goes on between you two ads fuel to the fire you guys ignited. This 'destruction' is the most physical thing you two can have without admitting your feelings. It gives an intense interaction while making you want each other more. And in a strange way, it's safe. No one has to own up to hurting the other under the guidelines of a relationship."  
  
"I can't see Brennen as jealous."  
  
"Just like he can't see you that way. As open as you are as friends and teammates, you shield part of the vulnerability with this 'false-calm'. You both see the other as stronger than you actually are."  
  
Shalimar was silent.  
  
"Let's line this up for a minute." Emma began. "You: to yourself, you admit you love him, but won't act because of his 'lifestyles'."  
  
"They had to name the condoms from somebody." The feral smirked.  
  
"Jokes, funny." Emma smiled. "Him: Keep in mind the way he's come up probably didn't allow for much emotional openness. He feels something but may not quite know how to act on it. What he does know is physical action. Aggression, domination, desire are all ways by which he survived before Mutant X. Those things can't be let go of when they're so deeply set in to some one. But he's adapted them to the team, and to you. He's protective of you."  
  
"And you."  
  
"Of course." The redhead grinned. "He's so forward and flashy in altercations, and part of him fancies himself as a kind of leader-Adam's protégé in some aspect. He even has Jesse being a little more edgy."  
  
"I'll agree with that."  
  
"Then agree with this. He is careful with you, maybe not in a way we agree with. But, it's Brennen. He knows you can see him for who he is, and it scares him. Someone so controlling of self and situation has to almost re-learn how to act emotionally. Thus, he reads poetry or meditates. It's to get a grasp on what he really feels and how to act on it."  
  
Shalimar jumped from the SUV hood, walking aimlessly to and from. "I don't know, Emma. It feels like he knows every aspect of what's going on."  
  
"Of course it does, that's how he presents it. But you have to read between the lines here. What do either of you stand to gain or lose from a relationship?"  
  
"We risk our friendship or the team, if it doesn't work."  
  
The psionic grinned. "Sounds like you don't think that would happen."  
  
"Part of me doesn't." the feral smiled. "Something in me does really believe that if we were to get 'together' than he would be,,,'good' to me."  
  
"Ironically enough, most men who get into something meaningful after being so 'out there' for so long, become extremely monogamous. They see what they have, and would do anything to protect it. Just to keep it. It's out of a fear that like so many things in their lives, it's fleeting. I think Brennen has to learn to trust as much as you."  
  
"Really."  
  
"Yes," the woman swung an arm around her friend's shoulder. "and it might be good for you to tackle those trust issues together. Definitely wouldn't hurt." Shalimar grinned at the woman she deemed her younger sister.  
  
"You always know what to say."  
  
"It's a gift." She grinned. "Redheads are smarter than blondes anyway."  
  
"Watch it, DeLauro." The feral grinned. "No stereotypes."  
  
"Let's go. I'm hungry and it's getting cold."  
  
Shalimar hopped behind the wheel, starting the engine after Emma closed the door. "Back to the rock?"  
  
"No. Go to a diner." Emma smirked.  
  
"You're not charging me by the hour are you?"  
  
"Nope," the psionic grinned. "But you are paying. Besides, I think there's something you're not telling me." Shalimar tried to cover her expression ass they pulled onto the highway. "And there is!" 


	7. Secrets

SCENES  
  
Disclaimer: M-X, Don't own them. Enjoy!  
  
All right! Thanks to all the supporters, and keep the love coming!  
  
I have yet another new favorite song, which this chapter will bee based on (In CLUBLIGHTS, it was Milkshake by Kelis). This one is Evanescence, MY IMMORTAL.  
  
I'm glad you guys are feeing the work, I feel SO special! LOL  
  
SECRETS  
  
Leo's was a place the Mutant X team found themselves frequenting for the past two years. On their late night races from the GSA or just to handle a hangover, the dim little establishment became the closest to what most of them would know as home cooking. Here, the food wasn't quite so greasy and the drivers passing through didn't flirt so hard. It was a nostalgic slice of peace in their techno-industrial world. And where Emma and Shalimar found themselves.  
  
The feral absently pushed at the glass of milk, watching faint white bubbles build and pop. Emma, on the other hand, dove into an ample piece of Cherry pie. But her eyes stayed on the blonde. Shalimar was looking for a place to start with this admittance of hers, and it was taking all of the psionic to not just give up and read her. Finally, she pushed back the glass.  
  
"I have slept with Brennen."  
  
"Thought so." Emma smirked, pushing the plate aside. "When?"  
  
Shalimar sat back in the booth, looking like the biggest loser. Her eyes stayed down, as fingers tapped the table absently. Her lips did that signature cat-like curl as she continued. "A few months ago. After we had come back from the Wilderness Base Camp."(Who's Woods Are These: Season two).  
  
Emma's mouth dropped in disbelief. "But, Shal, if that's true then-"  
  
"He slept with me before Miranda." Her fist made the soft skin turn almost whiter that the Formica counter top. "I know."  
  
Emma advanced cautiously knowing this kind of intrusion would only hurt her friend. "Do you WANT to talk about it?'  
  
Shalimar looked up at her with clear brown pools. Fool of water, Emma thought. The tears were on standby. "Why not?"  
  
It was after Adam had cured her from the virus the other feral- Michael had infected her with. A week or so had gone by, and Brennen sat with her almost everyday. Adam had finally let her move back to her room by then. And she was grateful for the seclusion of her own space.  
  
"I was up one night." She started. "You guys had all gone on some supply run, so he and I were alone in the Rock (as they so lovingly called Sanctuary). We had been up talking about our abilities and mutations. I remembered that he kept playing with his COMM link. Some how, his curiosities made him look so young. His brows would raise up and his cheeks seemed so-puffy." The woman grinned. "What a trap that was."  
  
She could still feel the sheets on her bed, cool against her stretched out legs. Brennen sat on the edge, leaning elbows on knees. He was lost in his action, flipping the ring absently between his fingers. Shalimar lay resting on her forearm watching him, and fighting so hard to stay awake. She didn't want the man to fade from her sight.  
  
"Shal," he said still eyeing the ring. "What do you want to do tonight?"  
  
Her smile curled as she traced circles on the dark bedspread. "What did you have in mind?"  
  
His eyes flashed momentarily, before stealing a glance and her smirking face. The evil in his smile was consuming the handsome face. "What did YOU have in mind?"  
  
"Nothing, Sparky. I'm still in pain a little bit."  
  
He turned to lean over her, a detailed arm stabling against the mattress. "Should I call Adam?"  
  
"No." she grinned. "Just bruised is all." The large hand brushed her hair softly, watching with genuine concern. "I won't break, Brennen."  
  
"I know." She soon regretted her words, seeing that it made him pull back to his former position. The woman moved to sit up, wincing at the smart of her ribs. Brennen immediately placed both hands on her shoulders, pausing her. "Don't get up! What do you need?"  
  
"Water." Her voice sounded needy, but he couldn't see the eyes dancing with danger.  
  
"Okay," He whispered. "Lay back, I'll handle it."  
  
"You say that to all the girls." She grinned.  
  
"Just those who fall for It." he replied before heading into the kitchen. The woman waited, hearing his steps minutes later. This was going to be so much fun, she thought. Shalimar sat back against the headboard, almost sorry for lying to him about her 'injury'. She'd felt fine for days now and was relishing his attention. Brennen stepped back in, sitting down on the bed before handing her the glass.  
  
"Thanks." She smirked. He grinned watching her sip the clear fluid. The elemental was being overprotective, and sat close, stroking her hair. Shalimar nearly grinned as fingers fumbled the glass.  
  
"Jesus! Shal!" he jumped. The liquid immediately soaked through his shirt and jeans. She tried with all her might not to laugh, watching Brennen pull at the damp fabric.  
  
"Geez, I'm sorry! It was an accident."  
  
"I bet." He smirked before pulling off the shirt. That's more like it, she thought. Brennen stepped in her bathroom, returning with a towel.  
  
"You better get out of those." She replied pointing to the pants. "Don't want any shrinkage."  
  
Brennen smirked before holding up the damp shirt. "NOTHING shrinks on me, babe. Except maybe this shirt." His dark eyes looked defeated at one of his favorite items. Shalimar grinned as she curled up on the sheets. Watching him was about all her eyes could take right then. Brennen absently shook the garment before catching her gaze. "You're expecting a show?" he asked.  
  
"Already got one."  
  
The elemental dropped the fabric, before taking the glass from her. Cold liquid splashed on the blonde, making her squeal in a not-so attempted escape. "I knew you weren't still hurt." Brennen grinned, attempting to tickle the scurrying woman. Shalimar pulled from the bed, and backed up slowly, finally hitting the wall. Damp streaks of blonde curled absently around her shoulders and neck, clinging to her next action.  
  
Brennen stretched out on the bed. His arms stretched amazingly to the ends of the headboard. He watched her intently, his mind obviously dancing with questions. Why does he look so good in my bed, she thought. Her eyes danced feverishly over 'that' body. Of course, she thought, because it's my bed.  
  
"Are you coming over?' he asked stroking the pillow absently. "Or do you want me to come get you?" Shalimar leaned further into the wall in answer, her breathing quickened, and disbelieving the inevitable. "Fine," he said standing. "Your choice."  
  
She leaned into the wall, watching Brennen slowly advance. Part of her did search for a way around him, but that was half-hearted. He was so dwarfing to her slender frame, and even now, her palms sat flat against the wall, trying to give her nails a place to dig. The dark man leaned over her, stroking the face with insistent fingers. Somehow, her tongue moved on its own sliding over the curve of his chest in dire exploration. Brennen brushed her hair before pulling the lips to his. They were so hungry for each other and desperate to end the 'tension' biting at them for so long. His palms planted against the wall, curling the thick arms on either side of her shoulders. Shalimar finally let go of the wall, falling into the one thing she was dying for, Brennen Mulray.  
  
He pulled back, watching her with the softest look. Her eyes widened as he snatched her from the wall, sending her backwards into the bed. Shalimar hit the mattress, smirking and scared at the same time while the elemental moved over her. As if hearing her question, his lips replied. "That's as rough as it gets."  
  
In the rush of entangled limbs and exploring lips, they lost it. Clothes pulled easily from each other's forms, and moans served as music to the empty room. At one moment, they did pause to look at each other, truly taking in the other's body. Shalimar gasped at the heat of muscles she'd known to be 'hands off' for so long. Brennen pulled her face back to his, kissing the parted lips slowly. "Are you sure?" he asked.  
  
She could only watch as those lips proceeded to ravage her breasts, joined by insistently slow hands. Her eyes slipped closed before finding strength to speak. "Brennen?"  
  
The man rose from his bounty, waiting silently for her words.  
  
"Make love to me."  
  
It was in the midst of her body's raging orgasm that she realized her heart was gone. The blonde tried not to dig nails into his flesh, knowing in some way she was putting her signature on the moment. The heat of him inside her had them both cursing between the syllable breakdowns of each other's name. Giving into a moment so tight in its intensity was making her light-headed; realization that she loved him sobered her up. Those lost hours gave way to her complete destruction. Her heart began to bleed watching the man pulsate in their conjoined release. She had done the one thing her heart knew it wouldn't be able to take. She'd given her love to an unobtainable man.  
  
"I just got tired." She said absently sipping the milk. "I just finally wanted to feel him, know him in that way."  
  
"And?" Emma asked, diving into another piece of pie.  
  
The feral grinned in soft victory. "It was wonderful."  
  
"And afterwards?"  
  
"We were like that all the next day. Just wrapped up in each other. Just lost."  
  
"But not quite like you are now." Emma stated. The feral made a face at the remark. "You found out about Miranda like the rest of us, didn't you? When he kissed her in front of everybody."  
  
"Em, we were only together one time."  
  
"Did you ever talk about it?"  
  
"Yeah." The feral started. "There were no regrets, no apologies."  
  
"You wrote it off as something that just happened?" the psionic snapped "That's bullshit! Why do that to yourself?"  
  
Shalimar finally looked up at her friend. "Because, I did the one thing I detested- I became one of his -HAREM! I gave into a feral weakness, and told him just that."  
  
"And he believed you." Emma interjected. "You brushed off your first time with the man you love as being in heat. Smart work, Shal."  
  
"And why is that, Emma?" she snapped.  
  
"Because, for the past several hours, you've been speaking as if he stepped all over you! Did it ever occur to you that MAYBE, he felt the same way? You had an opportunity to be honest with him just the way you've always wanted. And YOU fucked it up. Brennen reverted to his womanizing because he thought there was no chance for you and him. And you were he one to put that in his head!"  
  
Shalimar smirked at her teammate, crossing her arms defensively at the woman. "Can't argue with you there."  
  
Emma leaned across the table, grasping her friend's hand. Her voice immediately softened. "What scared you?"  
  
"What else?" the blonde rolled her eyes. "Trust."  
  
"In him?"  
  
"No," she whispered. "I couldn't trust that I wouldn't lose him." Her eyes slipped closed as the tears came. "I couldn't trust not to lose him the way I lost Richard."  
  
Now fit all fit for Emma. Being perceptive of all the facts had left her missing the obvious. Brennen was the feral's first attempt to move on since the loss of her love. The psionic could have slapped herself for not picking it up. She moved to speak, when the feral's brown eyes widened in disbelief. Emma watched before turning to face the direction of her gaze. The diner door swung open, letting cool air rush into the warm room, and in that air stood a dark man, stunning in his casual presentation. Emma felt the knot in her stomach, knowing her friend was dying to crawl away from her seat. My, God, the psionic thought. Brennen. 


	8. A Man's Words

SCENES  
  
Disclaimer: M-X,Don't own them. Enjoy!  
  
Thank you for ALL the wonderful reviews, and to GOLDSTRANGER (a little tease is always good!). This part is also inspired by MY IMMORTAL (Evanescence).  
  
All right! Here we go!  
  
A MAN'S WORDS  
  
"Shalimar!" Emma whispered, watching her friend slide under the table. "Shal! What are you doing?"  
  
"Has he seen me?" the blonde's eyes were wide and frantic on the redhead. "I can't face him right now!"  
  
"You're gonna get gum in your hair if you don't get from under there!" Emma absently pulled at the woman not noticing the figure coming towards her. Out of reaction to the pull, her eyes met the elemental's. Now she wanted to crawl away.  
  
"You okay, Emma?" he asked with that half-smirk half-frown thing he did. The redhead grinned, letting go of the blonde only to feel Shalimar grasp her leg.  
  
"Hey! Brennen! I'm fine! My coat just got stuck!" Her hands let go. "See, it's free now."  
  
"Uh huh." The tall man sat down next to her, stretching his legs so booted feet just missed Shalimar's nose. "Company?" he asked staring at the half empty glass of milk.  
  
"Was." She started nervously. Brennen grinned before pulling at the half-eaten plate of pie, and slipping the fork out of her hand. "Please," she smirked. "Go right ahead."  
  
"It's always good to share, Em." Upon looking at him, the psionic could see how Shalimar got lost. Brennen was so childishly casual, while still being dangerous. The fact that he could have been one of S.E. Hinton's THE OUTSIDERS didn't help either. Even now, the leather coat and dark shirt seemed a little too natural for the man. "So, who was it?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Your company?" he replied between bites.  
  
The woman could feel an experiment coming on. "Shalimar."  
  
Immediatly, his chewing stopped. Brennen sat up, scanning the diner with 'interested' eyes. "She still here?"  
  
Emma's lips moved, but feeling the nervous hand on her calf, paused her. "No." The elemental's eyes flashed a little in disappointment, making her heart twinge. "She'll be back to pick me up though."  
  
"Okay, I'll wait with you." Now a pinch pulled at Emma's pants leg, signaling the woman to get him out of there.  
  
"You looked a little disappointed." The redhead started. "When I said Shal wasn't here. What? I'm not enough company now?"  
  
"You have jokes tonight, Emma?" he grinned. "I guess you'll do." The younger woman smiled at her teammate and 'brother', watching as he beckoned the waitress over to order them two more slices.  
  
"Brennen, can I ask you something?"  
  
He looked up from his now empty plate, eyeing her with open dark orbs. His mouth gestured in his tongue sucking something from between his teeth. "Maybe."  
  
"I just wanted to know, why you and 'a certain blonde' never got together."  
  
The man sat back smirking, his dark brows raised over lowered lashes, while large fingers absently played with his COMM link. "Just didn't happen." He lied.  
  
Emma studied him, knowing there was another angle to this all- together. "Why?"  
  
"You sure are nosy tonight," he grinned.  
  
"Just 'curious'." She said.  
  
"Well," the man leaned back, resting his head on the vinyl backing, and staring of aimlessly. "She didn't want me."  
  
Emma's brow rose at that, the hand on her leg, signaling a nervous feral under the table. "I find that hard to believe, Brennen."  
  
"Well, thanks, but we both know I'm not exactly the greatest catch here." His words drifted slightly at the joke. "Some things are a little too broken to fix."  
  
"I don't know. It just seemed like you had a thing for her."  
  
"What man wouldn't?" he absently pushed at the feral's glass of milk, her lipstick becoming present in its pale shade before his eyes. Emma watched knowing he would drink from that same spot her lips had touched, and he did. The contents emptied into his throat, but it was the connection he'd wanted. "Some things are just out of reach," he replied.  
  
"Sounds like you have a story to tell."  
  
His brow rose as his teammate eyed him. "Sounds like you want to listen."  
  
"If you want me to."  
  
"Alright. There was a time that I did pursue Shalimar. I can never really read her; y'know the on and off flirting and stuff? But there was this one night when things did 'happen'. And I thought we'd gotten to a place where we could discuss some sort of relationship."  
  
"But?"  
  
"But, I think she took it as though I took advantage of her. Which, I would never do, I mean, its Shalimar-she bites." Fingers pinching her skin cut Emma's laugh. "So, what happened?"  
  
"Well, there was this time that I went to talk to her. We were in the dojo, just sitting there. The words wouldn't come out right then."  
  
"But they did." Emma added.  
  
"Eventually."  
  
He had watched her in the Dojo, lost in her meditative extensions. Everything in the man wanted to wrap his arms around her and ride the slim muscles against her rhythm. But the knot in the pit of his stomach knew that paradise was coming to a close.  
  
That day, when he woke with the blonde sprawled in his arms, the elemental didn't know what to think. There were definitely no regrets for having made love to Shalimar, but that 'connection' had singed a part of him, he didn't believe reachable. Speaking it out loud, would only make him that much more open to the impending rollercoaster underneath his stomach muscles. They finally needed to talk.  
  
"Shal." He interjected, watching the woman turn to face him. In her eyes, he saw the conversation they needed to have.  
  
"Hey Brennen." She replied nervously. Her head lowered as gold curls fell around her shoulders. He itched to run his fingers through the locks and pull her close.  
  
"You know we need to talk."  
  
Her brow rose in defeat. "I know."  
  
"You or me?" he asked indicating who starts. The woman gestured in an undecided manner before walking around in small circles. "Okay, then. I just want you to know, that I didn't mean to-"  
  
"You didn't." she interjected. "You didn't take advantage of me. I don't regret anything that happened."  
  
Brennen exhaled at that, watching her. "Good, because neither do I."  
  
"It just can't happen again."  
  
That was the hit he knew was coming. "I know."  
  
The woman studied him. Almost deciding on her words, and Brennen knew that when someone thought so long on something, something else was being covered. "Brennen, I think I was in heat the other night."  
  
"That's bullshit."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Shal," he said moving towards her. "If you were in heat, than I was too. And I'm damn sure not a feral. What happened was meant to happen."  
  
"Maybe so, but it shouldn't have."  
  
The woman moved to pull away, only to be caught by a massive hand to her arm. "Whoa! I though you said no regrets."  
  
"I did and I mean that, but we-I-I pushed for something we shouldn't have done."  
  
"Shouldn't have done? Shalimar!" She knew whenever he used her whole name it was serious. "Shalimar, we made love. I touched you because I want you, and you want me."  
  
"Brennen! I wasn't thinking straight! We were caught up in the moment, and I couldn't control myself- my actions."  
  
"Well then, I damn sure like when you lose control." He grinned. "You're a shitty liar, Shal. Now tell me the truth."  
  
"Brennen," she whispered. "Please don't push this."  
  
The man leaned in, purposely shadowing her smaller form. Whenever he really felt so, he knew he could intimidate someone. And it felt needed to get to the truth. "I'll break this down for you. You don't regret what happened, or why it happened, but you are lying about why it did happen. What is it? Why won't you admit what you feel?"  
  
"Because I don't want to 'feel' something for a man who'll 'feel' that way about any woman he fucks! Brennen!"  
  
He stood there silent for a minute hands pushed deep into his pockets. His lips curled in an action determined to hold back anger. "You know I wouldn't betray you like that." He started. "And you're still lying."  
  
"No I'm not. I'm not one of your 'women of the week!""  
  
"And I wouldn't treat you that way, Shalimar!" he now crossed his arms. "Why are you dodging the issue?"  
  
Her own arms folded, as the anger burned in her eyes. She was fishing for him, and he wouldn't bite. There was no way she'd get out of this that easy. "And what's the issue?"  
  
"You're afraid."  
  
"Of what?"  
  
"Of giving yourself to someone again."  
  
"Well, you're halfway there." She smirked. "I'm afraid of giving myself to a man who, TONIGHT, I know will bang some chick! I'm afraid that I jut became one of those women and you won't even admit it to yourself! And I KNOW that the Brennen Mulray standing here is not the one, I slept with the other night! The one that had me is the one who will be out in the streets fucking women he doesn't even know!  
  
"You're crazy,,," he replied running a hand through his hair.  
  
"Am I? Tell me that you weren't just being physical the other night. Tell me that you did give in because of emotion. Tell me-"  
  
"Tell you what?! That I love you, Shalimar! Okay, you hear it straight from me- "I LOVE YOU SHALIMAR! Damn! Are you happy now?"  
  
She eyed him surprised, but still not believing. "And you said I couldn't lie."  
  
Brennen grabbed her arm, pulling the woman in front of him. "I'm tired of your shit! Believe me not but know if I've ever told you anything, it is the truth. Now, I don't know what you're fighting so hard, but understand I am a man. I may be broken man but I'm a damn good one!" his eyes burned into hers, causing a ripple of fear in the brown orbs. "And I won't wait forever."  
  
He let go forcefully, turning to walk away. Her lips stumbled over the words. "Then don't wait at all." The ego in her to finish the argument was ripping her heart apart. "Nothing's waiting for you here."  
  
The man just stood, swinging his arms as if ready to strike. "Your call." With that he left the room. "I won't wait."  
  
Emma stared in disbelief at the man now poking at his dessert. Shalimar still clutched her leg under the table, her tears dampening the knee of the redhead's jeans. Brennen made no faces of emotion- like any man. But his eyes were searching, processing. "I should have known that her issues were more so about Richard." He started. "I've lost enough people to know how hard it its to trust. She was afraid of losing again. And I pushed when she wasn't ready to confront those things."  
  
"I'm sorry." The red head whispered.  
  
"For what? Shalimar was right. I was back in the bars that night, drinking and doing anything in a skirt. Part of me didn't want to come back to Sanctuary. I had to be gone for a few days."  
  
"I understand. Did you guys ever resolve it?"  
  
"Not really. When I finally came back, we just kept a safe distance. After a little while, we started talking again. But it was kind of understood that we never mention 'that' again."  
  
"That 'night' or 'that' conversation?"  
  
"Both."  
  
"You were telling the truth." She said. "You do love Shalimar."  
  
Brennen finally pushed the plate away, before looking at her. "Of course I do. I wouldn't lie about that." Emma could feel Shalimar leaning on her; tears now had the denim on her knee damp. She absently slid a hand into the blonde locks, comforting her best friend. The other wrapped around Brennen's  
  
"Anyway, our 'possibilities' faded after that. Since we never talked about it again and all."  
  
"Do you think she feels the same way?  
  
"At the time, I knew she did." He said. "But now, I doubt it."  
  
Emma watched him, knowing the torment the two faced. They were battling each other for no reason. Two people so desperate for each other used the other as excuses not to advance. The psionic had finally had enough. "Brennen?"  
  
"Yeah, Em."  
  
"Shalimar's here."  
  
He continued to sit not moving for any reason. "Really."  
  
"Yep." The redhead pulled the woman's hand causing a thump on the underside of the counter. Brennen watched with a strange look on his face.  
  
"You bump you knee?" he asked the red head.  
  
"NO. Shalimar's under the table."  
  
"Right." He chuckled. Emma pulled the wrestling hand from under the counter and into his view. "What the fuck!" he yelled pulling pushing the red head over. The feral looked up at him with a caught expression. "Shalimar!?"  
  
"Uhmm,,,,Hey? Brennen?" The elemental burst into laughter, nearly rolling out of his seat. Other diner occupants thought he'd lost his mind as they eyed the scene. Brennen was doubling over, nearly coughing up laughter as the blonde moved into her seat, obviously not enjoying the moment.  
  
"Jess has got to hear this one!" He smirked before calming down. Shalimar's nails clicked on the tabletop as she eyed the jolting elemental. He finally managed to subside.  
  
"Thanks, Em-ma." She said sarcastically.  
  
The redhead grinned watching the eyes flash feral for the moment. "You're welcome."  
  
"Shal, you're loungin' under tables now?" Brennen smirked. "The cat thing is really starting to get you, huh."  
  
"Shut up, Mulray!" she grumbled.  
  
"Hey, I wasn't the one curled up on Emma's leg. But it was nice to look at." You girls that cozy all-"  
  
"SHUT UP, BRENNEN." Emma repeated.  
  
"Okay, I'm done." Emma watched as the two eyed each other. The feelings were so still there- for both of them. Shalimar played with her empty glass, while Brennen suddenly found his food inviting again. He chewed on the dessert while watching her with intent, low lashed eyes. There was a smirk to his chewing that seemed unsettling to the feral. Emma felt like she was in the middle of an impending porn movie. "So, what's goin' on?"  
  
"Nothing." Shalimar smirked.  
  
"You two need to talk." Emma said. Both flashed disbelieving looks at her. "Well, you do. And I'm not leaving because you'll both find excuses to walk away." She settled back into her seat. "So, let's begin." 


	9. Woman and Her Man

SCENES  
  
Disclaimer: M-X, Don't Own them. Enjoy!  
  
HEY!!! Thanks to everyone keeping up with this piece. I'm glad you like it. This is the next helping, so put on your bibs and open wide. Here's a little tease before the big O!  
  
WOMAN AND HER MAN  
  
Emma watched her 'family'. Shalimar, with her cautious eyes, regarded her object of desire whenever he diverted his gaze. Brennen, on the other hand, was being himself. He blatantly roamed the woman, causing a ravenous heat at their connection. Emma shook her head at the images of entangled limbs and moans flying at her.  
  
"COULD YOU CALM IT DOWN," she said between gulps of water. "Some things I just don't need to see."  
  
The elemental smirked, leaning back in his seat at the booth, seeing by now that all of the feral's nerves were gone. She watched him just as obviously, her nails gliding against the empty glass (and wishing they were gliding against his skin).  
  
"You have something to tell me." Brennen stated, folding his arms.  
  
"You first." She replied.  
  
"How about I cover it for you?" Emma more so demanded sitting forward.  
  
"Emma." Shalimar begged. Brennen also watched her with a 'what are you doing' look.  
  
"Cut it," the redhead started. "Since you guys can't jumpstart anything other than each other's bones, I'm putting you on track."  
  
Brennen leaned in towards her, grabbing the psionic's forearm. "Don't you think that's our business? EM!"  
  
"Not when you're working my nerves, now-"  
  
"I love you, Shalimar." The man stated, silencing the whole table. He desperately wanted control on how this played out. "But you know that."  
  
The feral looked down at her clinched hands, wide-eyed at his words. "I know."  
  
"Well," Emma said under her breath. "Here we go."  
  
Brennen leaned on the table, watching the shocked blonde. "I'm gonna get straight to it. We've both been talking to 'her'" He gestured to the redhead. "When we should be talking to each other." Again his eyes fell on the third party. "ALONE!"  
  
"I ain't movin'." She replied sitting back.  
  
Brennen finally gave in, lowering his head at the situation. "Okay, then." Shalimar watched disbelieving that he was getting up.  
  
"You're leaving?" she almost whimpered.  
  
"Oh no." The man moved to her side of the table, and leaned over trapping her lips with his. The blonde shuddered under his action, Her hands instantly moved into his hair, nearly pulling the man down on the seat with her. Brennen reluctantly pulled back, closing his eyes to remember his task. "You together?"  
  
The feral shuddered against him, holding onto massive shoulders so she could calm down. "I think so."  
  
"Good." Again Brennen looked back at Emma, who was propped up on the table, resting her head on a balled up fist. Her eyes sat blankly wide, as lips pulled water through a clear straw. The chick wasn't moving. "I was right when we argued, you know that."  
  
"Yeah," Shalimar said.  
  
"And I was wrong to not give you time to move on your own. I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't"  
  
"Shal, I'm talking." He insisted. The blonde sat back, almost aroused by his taking of action. "Like I said before, I'm not the greatest man, but I AM a good one, and you're not gonna doubt me- ON ANYTHING."  
  
Shalimar trembled, nearly drowning in the dark eyes. "I know."  
  
"You've made me out as a monster to justify your actions, I don't deserve that. I know, I am wrong- for a lot of things, but I'm not a monster." His fingers slipped over her face, brushing the skin intently. "Am I?" he demanded softly.  
  
"N-No."  
  
"Shalimar, you know where I stand," he whispered, tracing the lips with gentle fingers. "And you know what I want." The woman closed her eyes at the touch, feeling his breath just moments from hers. "I said I wouldn't wait, but I will -till tomorrow night. You come to me, and we talk-just us. If you're not there, then I know where you stand."  
  
The woman was silent as he kissed her again. She fought the feral in her, which wanted to throw him on the table and rip his clothes off. Brennen leaned in close, tracing the line of her neck before moving to the exposed skin of her chest, his lips brushed hers lightly as fingers unsettled the nerves over her heart. "YOU have mine," he said pressing against the racing organ. "I hope to have yours."  
  
With that, he stood to walk out, leaving the feral and a few diner occupants shocked at his actions. "Oh, I'm headed back to the rock." He said to both women.  
  
"And Emma, I love you, babe." He grinned. "But be afraid, BE VERY AFRAID."  
  
Oh! SHIT! She thought.  
  
Shalimar watched the man exit, her mind and body racing towards an explosion. The psionic eyed her small fingers grasp the table. "Shal, you ready-"  
  
"SHIT! DRIVE YOURSELF!" she yelled flinging the keys at her friend. The feral ran towards the door, knocking people down to get outside. "Brennen!"  
  
In the cool air, she skidded to a halt, not believing he was just standing at the bottom of the steps. Brennen could have racked it up as another moment to laugh at her. Instead, strong hands reached out to steady the woman, basically lifting her before placing her on the ground. "Ma'am?" he smirked.  
  
Shalimar gathered herself, watching the cool air as it exited their mouths. She absently held on to the ties of her coat. "You can't leave."  
  
"Why is that?" he grinned, moving to lean on the hood of his Hummer.  
  
"You can't just say something and walk away." She started.  
  
"Okay, so say something." She opened her mouth, just as he pulled her to him. The elemental locked his teammate in a firm embrace, waiting for her words. "The cold could make you lose focus."  
  
"You,,," she said, trying not to melt against the composition of his form. "You didn't value yourself, giving so easily into other women. And when you devalue yourself, you devalue me."  
  
"I think men see it differently, Shalimar." His eyes danced at that. "But I'm glad you think so much of me."  
  
"You don't get it. If you love me, like you say, then sleeping with so many others wouldn't have been an option. You would have made an attempt to-stop."  
  
Brennen was silent as the woman placed balled fists on his leather- covered chest. "So you wanted me to prove myself to you."  
  
"More so to yourself." She replied. "If I was different from them, them you should have acted differently. I just couldn't see how I separated from the masses for you."  
  
Now he watched her with intent understanding. "I see."  
  
"Brennen, I never doubted that you would treat me right, and I knew that my issues with Richard would hinder whatever happened between us, but I also needed to see that you wanted me. To see that you'd risk everything the way I would."  
  
"So, what do I need to do?" He said stroking her hair. "Rome wasn't built in a day."  
  
"And neither were we. My trust issues are not yours to bear."  
  
"No, but they are mine to end, Shalimar." He whispered. "I know you're afraid of the risks we face. The team, our friendship."  
  
"We already put that on the line." She smirked, remembering their night together. "Like I said to Emma, I'm afraid of losing you."  
  
"You wouldn't."  
  
"You don't know that. We are here! All we have right now IS right now! Tomorrow, everything could be gone!"  
  
Again he saw the fear burning in her from losing Richard. The elemental adjusted his hold on the woman, pressing his forehead too hers. "You're afraid of losing out."  
  
"Aren't you?" she replied as a tear slipped from her eyes.  
  
"That's why I'm here now, Shalimar." Brennen slipped his fingers over her cheeks, pushing at gold strands flailing absently between them. "I'm not your past, and you aren't mine. If we DO have anything, like you said- it is right now. And part of me does think I have a pretty good chance of growing old with you- if you don't kill me first." Her laughter was much welcome to his ears right then. "But if we don't try, then what do we have?"  
  
"A lot of sexual tension." She smirked.  
  
"Yeah, and I'm not one for cold showers, Babe." The man smiled so easily at her, that the body forgot they were in the cold. "I love you. Shalimar. Give me a chance to be there, for you and with you."  
  
She pulled back grinning evilly. "I'll let you know."  
  
Brennen watched in disbelief as she walked back towards the diner. "When? And where are you going?"  
  
The feral turned to face him, grinning so dangerously that the man actually shook. "Just go home, Brennen. I'll be there."  
  
The elemental smiled as she disappeared back into the establishment. You better come to me, he thought. I'll be waiting. 


	10. Nothing But the Night

SCENES  
  
Disclaimer: M-X, don't own them. Enjoy!  
  
FIRST OFF: I'm not spoiling it for anyone, but the new episode of Mutant X "HAND OF GOD" is very interesting. There's major B/S in it, as well as one 'scene' were the feral has to carry Brennen (so unbelievable, it's funny).  
  
And to all the loyal readers who love my 'cliffhangers', maybe it's time you got a full dose, so here we go. Take it slowly, so you don't choke. ^_^  
  
Again, based on Evanesence "MY IMMORTAL" and one you guys may not know: Floetry "IT'S GETTING LATE." Listen to it, and you'll understand!  
  
NOTHING BUT THE NIGHT  
  
Emma was almost proud of herself, especially when the feral came back into the diner to drag her out. Shalimar could not stop grinning as she loaded the psionic into her SUV. On the road, Emma broke the silence. "I take it, things went well."  
  
"Yeah!" the blonde smiled.  
  
"And?"  
  
"Emma, you've done your part-now butt out!"  
  
The redhead sat back on the seat, watching her friend. "I think, I'll take that as a complement."  
  
"I guess I should thank you." The feral said eyeing the road. "I'll make it up to you eventually."  
  
"Don't worry, just mark it off all the ones I owe you."  
  
"Done."  
  
"SO," the woman asked as they flew down the highway. "Where are we going?"  
  
"Sanctuary." The feral said, almost bursting into another smile. "We're going home."  
  
In the dark grey of the garage, the women sat. They'd been there for fifteen minutes or so, just waiting for the feral's nerves to come back. The rush home had been fueled by adrenaline, or desire-maybe a little of both. Emma could see her breathing steadily, but intensely. The woman was still scared.  
  
"Either way, you look at it, you have to go through that door." She whispered.  
  
"I know." She replied. "It's just knowing what's on the other side that has me-I'm just nervous."  
  
"Because of Sparky." Emma smirked, wanting to end her teammates tension. "He's just a man."  
  
Shalimar's eyes danced. "What a man."  
  
"I'd offer to go with you, but he's already got my murder planned." The psionic grinned. "I will watch you go to the door. And if you run, I'll have the engine started so we can dash."  
  
"NO, you won't. You'd rather lock me out and trap me with him."  
  
"Like you'd mind."  
  
Shalimar smiled at her insistent friend, moving to hug her. "No, I wouldn't."  
  
The light from the door silenced them. It the opening passage, Brennen stepped into the garage, eyeing their SUV. The man leaned against the doorway, in jeans and a dark shirt. His arms folded in the mix of shadow and light, leaving the overt curves highlighted in gold. Shalimar knew it was now or never. "Wait till we're inside?" she asked Emma.  
  
"Of course." The redhead smiled as the feral climbed out of the automobile. Instantly, her and Brennen's eyes met. Geez, I just need popcorn, Emma thought. The blonde walked towards him slowly, needing to steady herself for the moment. It was then that Brennen moved off the wall, coming to stand in front of her. There in the mix of shadow and gold light, the two embraced, as they should have so long ago. Emma could make out Shalimar's body shuddering from crying, while Brennen pulled her close. Knowing the door would cause that damned beeping, she gently rolled down the window to listen in.  
  
"I know you're scared, Shal." He kissed the top of her head as her face buried into his chest. "We go as fast or slow as you want." The woman was silent right then, losing herself in the sweet grip of his arms. She could feel the fingers stroking her hair, intent on bringing her comfort. It was then that it hit her, that entire night she had said everything but the obvious.  
  
"Brennen," her head lifted to look at the dark man, as he watched for her question. "Brennen, I love you." The man grinned at her, knowing she needed to hear his words as well.  
  
"I love you, too, Shal." Their kiss was patient in its intensity, pulling them both into a storm of surrender. Brennen reluctantly pulled back, taking her hands into his. "Come on." He grinned, leading her into Sanctuary. "It's getting late."  
  
Emma watched as her teammates moved into the warm lights of Sanctuary. Her eyes were almost misty as she climbed from the Jeep. Finally, she thought, before walking towards Sanctuary's second entrance. This had been an eventful night.  
  
The light was the first thing to hit her sensitive eyes, tender from a mix of tears and lack of sleep. Her fingers snapped her mind back into its active state. Rough skin brushed her face, wanting to stop the tears. But she knew they weren't from pain. That became evident as lips brushed her ears. "Are you sure?" he asked softly, stroking the body beneath him. The blonde was enthralled in a mix of moans and sheets.  
  
The feral shuddered under his touch, losing herself to the exploration of his back and shoulders. Finally, she could focus on the man on top of her. How quickly it had been that their clothes fell off, and they tangled into an energetic mess on his bed. She had explored him, tracing everything from the curves of his thighs, to the dragon inked on the back of his arm. Tasting the spice of his skin had her fast becoming a junkie. And he was a drug she'd willingly succumb to.  
  
Her nerves itched at the tongue riding up her stomach. He was going so slow, being so thorough in consuming her. Even as palms slipped over her breasts and that tongue climbed the arch of her neck, she was still wondering if this was real. The pressure of thighs answered her.  
  
Brennen leaned over the woman, stroking her hair. "Are you still with me?" he grinned. Shalimar stroked his face, loving how a sleek jaw ran into a high cheekbone, then the straight nose and the firm lips. Those lips, she thought. The warm pink had her turning into jelly.  
  
"I'm still here,,," she whispered.  
  
The elemental smiled before giving into her kiss. He sat back, pulling the woman into his lap, giving his hands access to the arch of her spine and fall of cascading gold. Her legs wrapped around him, pushing the round muscles into his narrow sides. He continued to feast on her, lost in the taste of skin and sweet pressure of curves around him. His need to be inside her was becoming desperate. "Are you sure?" he asked again, leaning into the speeding heartbeat. "I don't think I can stop."  
  
"You won't have too." She whispered. "I'm sure." With that, hands pressed into her hips, pulling the smaller woman onto him. Brown eyes, bolted open at the feeling stretching her, nails pulled into the large shoulders. Brennen laid her back softly, pulling the legs tighter around his waist. Initiating a dangerously slow rhythm as he turned off the lights.  
  
It was an eventful night indeed. Who would have known that a complete emotional break down on the feral's part, would result in her coming home to the one person she needed. In the cool darkness of his room, and the damp warmth of their sheets, she let go of the fear that had gripped her. In its place the blonde embraced all possibilities that came with loving one Brennen Mulray. They tangled into their voices and the losing grips on their senses, due to an impending explosion. Shalimar's voice echoed into the rafters of her room, followed by her lover's baritone spilling her name. Manicured nails wrapped into his hair, trying not to dig into his scalp. In his eyes, she saw that all of him wanted all of her.  
  
Hours later, his hands reached under her thighs, gripping already tender hips in the rush of their explosion. Shalimar felt her nails dig into his spine, lost in the tremors surging through their bodies. Her mouth screamed his name, which echoed broken between gasps. Brennen leaned into his love, smirking between his intakes of air. The involuntary pulses between them still ran angrily. In their broken language, admissions of love flooded their ears. The feral knew she was crying as her body finally began to settle. Their moment had been intense and hungry, making both nearly forget the need for sensitivity. Because of it, Brennen was poised over her, raining slow kisses along her face and chest. In that softness, the two professed their love. Speaking until the first rays of morning crept through the windows, pulling them into sleep. Their battle had finally come to an end.  
  
***********************************  
  
Emma woke grinning into the new morning. She was especially thankful for this day (and the fact that the wall-banging from the 'other' room subsided). She sat up, finally free of the erogenous tension from Brennen and Shalimar. Her red-hair tumbled comically from the rush of fingers.  
  
"So, you finally did it." he grinned, stretching beside her. "You got those two together."  
  
"Uhmm,,,wasn't easy. Now I'm gonna need protection from Sparky's revenge."  
  
He smirked before pulling the woman into the naked safety of his arms. "Somehow, I don't think you'll have a problem from him."  
  
Emma smiled into the eyes that had fuelled her own desires for so long. She rested against the tan skin, running her finger along an emergent vein on his bicep. "Somehow, I think I believe you."  
  
"Anyway, I'm here to protect you."  
  
"That's right." She whispered, her cheek pressing into his heartbeat. "Super Jess to the rescue, as always."  
  
"As always," he whispered rolling onto the giggling psionic, "I'm at your service."  
  
Emma melted into the molecular's warmth, giving into his lips, and fast emerging ideas of a late morning. " As always, Jess, you know just what to do." 


	11. An Afterthought

SCENES  
  
HELLO!!!  
  
Thanks to everyone whom enjoyed this story! I'm sad to say, it is finished, BUT do not fear,,,I am working on another little something for all of you M-X junkies. So give me a little time and I will give you what you need.  
  
Also, I will soon be posted on the Mutant X Bookcase! So look out!  
  
Thanks for the love.  
  
Sage 


End file.
